tomatolovers: tomatolovers: so my mom gave me all these ballons my mom also wakes up at 4am half asleep to go to pee without turning the lights on i woke up with all the balloons on top of me and a note saying ‘next time i will pee on your bed’ SHE SAID SHE ALMOST PEED HERSELF TRYING TO GET IN ALDKF
fuck im just feeding my panic and anxiety here im going to bed before i actually sTOP breathing
trillow: hey mum my gang is coming over tonight can you prepare some fun snacks
vocaroo: this is the most polite porn pop-up advertisement i’ve ever seen
beekwhy: toopsy: brimerica: ALL THE GERMANS ARE LIKE BUFF MENLY MEN GRRRRR And then there’s Austria i would bring up liechtenstein but i mean come on she could probably beat his ass into the ground
jebiwonkenobi: When I was little I thought being an adult meant not having a bed time but I’ve come to realize that it just means being in charge of my own bed time and it turns out that I am not equipped to handle that responsibility.
thats-slightly-raven: I’m watching Hell’s Kitchen and I can’t stop laughing because Gordon Ramsay just called this girl a fucking biscuit then threw a piece of salmon at her and for the past 7 minutes she’s just been stood there looking at him like this
renkos: jackfrostftw: renkos: please flirt with me EEYYYYYYYYYYY SEXY LADEH dont do that
hipsterinatardis: Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you’re in.
wizardsandhijack: hospitalf0rsouls: Omfg so if Mary had baby Jesus, and baby Jesus was the Lamb of God… did Mary have a little lamb? you broke the world
Send me a character and I'll tell you;
vantasticmess: sinnerlikedamon: OTP: BrOTP: OT3: NOTP: this looks brilliant do me do me
happyds: rebloggable I gUESS u m u !